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Rather than trying to learn who he is and what he’s about, you look at his behavior and the things he says as a means to measure how he feels about you…

and whether you’re getting closer or further away from your goal of having a relationship with him.

Either you notice that he starts to pull away and seems less engaged (commonly known as “the fade away”), or he just vanishes (a phenomenon known as “ghosting”). When a girl loses interest in a guy after a few dates, she can usually pinpoint the reason.

Maybe he was too desperate, not intellectually stimulating, too quiet, too loud, too boring, too boisterous–she usually knows exactly what it is that turned her off and can give a reason as to why she doesn’t want to continue dating him if asked. A guy can go on a few amazing dates with a girl and find himself suddenly and inexplicably put off by her.

At this point, instead of him feeling like he’s connecting with you, he feels like you’re trying to get something out of him.Most guys can intuitively sense when a woman is reacting to them as an object rather than a person, when she is using him as a means to fill a void within herself.Guys typically don’t operate this way in relationships and he can’t fully understand what happened to turn this seemingly happy, cool girl into an unpleasant, emotionally-reactive, reassurance-seeking mess.When asked, many guys will say they don’t know why they were suddenly turned off…they just were. Is it really out of the blue without cause or provocation? The reason it’s so hard to pinpoint and articulate is because it’s extremely subtle.During the first few dates with a new guy, your vibe is typically pretty laid-back and easygoing.

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